standby

part of the trouble of a project like this is trying to reconstruct memories from a couple dozen or more years ago.  the whole thing is compounded when you realize that you don't have a long-term memory before the age of four.  it's even worse when the most reliable source for stories from that part of your life only seems to remember stories that make you look like a dumbass.  even worse when they seem to relish that fact.  even worse when it's your mom.

i guess that's tempered by the fact that you were like three years old when the stories happened; and when you're three, almost everything you do makes you look like a dumbass.  

so when i was a lil kid, right up until i was about seventeen or so, i was terrified of thunderstorms, so whenever one came around, my nerves were always super on edge and i'd be yelling at my mom to tell me right away where she and my dad hid the stuff i'd smell on their breath when they'd tuck me in.  k, so that last part may or may not be true.

anyways, so there was this one time the big weather was coming and the weather guy on channel 8 was breaking in every so often to tell everybody how absolutely screwed they'd be depending on where they lived.  so once i guess the weather got to the transmitter tower and took down the broadcast for a few minutes which meant that the tv went to a test pattern or something for a few seconds and then came back with a "technical difficulties, please stand by" message.  so of course, i get up and go stand by the tv.  mostly on account of the fact that they told me to stand by.

so my mom sees me standing by the tv and says, "why are you standing next to the tv?"  and so, naturally i tell her, "it says please stand by."  i was like four.  and probably a bit of a dumbass.  both of those things may or may not have changed.  i'm not saying one way or another.